Essay by Madeline Liberman

NOTE: People’s names in this essay have been replaced by fake names to prevent embarrassment.

Believe it or not, sometimes it’s very hard to be truthful to someone. A lot of people grew up with their parents telling them, “Never, ever lie.” But others say sometimes you need to lie. Most of the time these people are wrong, and most of the time in this kind of situation, if you lie, it can be extremely destructive. And sometimes doing the right thing can be hard. It can be really hard. You think you’ll hurt someone’s feelings. But you can be wrong! I once had a friend who told me my lip gloss looked ridiculous. After she gave me a mirror, I realized she saved me from embarrassing myself in front of my classmates. My friend, who I had thought before was being mean to me, was actually helping me out. She was telling the truth. Everyone hates to be lied to, but it takes a lot of courage to not lie to them.

Sometimes it’s hard to be truthful to someone, because it forces you to do things you don’t want to do. For example, while my mom was in high school, she started to hate eating meat. But my grandmother made meat at least 4 times a week! Mom just kept forcing it down so she wouldn’t hurt her mother’s feelings. But her mother still made it a lot. Now, my mother still can’t stand meat. But by lying to HER mother, she was causing her mother to spend lots of money on unnecessary meat. My grandma still doesn’t know my mother hates meat, and my mom is sure she should’ve confessed.

Another example is when my friend Diane’s cousin asked her to play with Diane’s neighbor, Chris. At the time Diane and Chris were in an argument. Diane said “Sure” because Diane’s cousin really liked hanging out with Chris. Chris refused and shut the door. When Diane’s cousin asked why, she told the truth. She then knew she didn’t have to lie to her cousin and do something she didn’t want to do.

Also, 100% of Ms. Stodden’s class said they had done something they didn’t want to do to be dishonest, and in their opinion, nice to someone, even though the other person didn’t need it. If people just step up and tell the truth, instead of being “nice”, they won’t have to do things they don’t want to do.

Sometimes it’s hard to be truthful to someone because it can frustrate them.

One time a girl I know, Rose, asked her friend if her hair looked okay. Rose’s friend said “Yes” but Rose could tell her friend was lying to be nice. But it would help Rose more if her friend nicely stated what was wrong with Rose’s hair. Her friend should’ve just been straight with Rose and told her, instead of being “nice” and keeping it to herself. Then Rose could’ve fixed her hair! People should stop lying when they don’t have to and frustrating others.

Sometimes it’s bad hard to be truthful to someone because it makes them feel different. One example is when my friend Kate was playing Ping-Pong with her family, and she wasn’t doing well. This was because Kate hadn’t practiced. But the rest of her family was doing great! Her brothers were making fun of her and she was starting to feel bad. When she walked up to the Ping-Pong table, her dad was her opponent. He went really easy on Kate, which was lying to himself and his abilities, and it made her feel like she wasn’t as good as everyone else.

Sometimes it’s hard to be truthful to someone because they think they can’t do anything wrong. Once, my mom told me about an article she’d read. In it, experts explained that children who were praised all the time, or lied to, wouldn’t get very far in life, because they thought they were incapable of doing anything wrong. The kids’ parents would tell them they were doing fantastic all the time, so they would never learn to try again if they didn’t succeed, or practice to become perfect. But later in life, the same children might become cocky and tell others, “I can do this so much better than you.” It could land them in big trouble, and all this just because of these lies.

Another time, when I was looking at all my brother and sisters’ artwork on the wall, I went to my mom and asked her, “Why haven’t you hung up anything of MINE on the wall?” Mom said, “It’s because I’m waiting for the right artwork from you, the one I totally love. I don’t want to hang just any old work.” I wasn’t happy at all; I thought the day she hung something of mine up would never come. Then later, I created another piece, one Mom loved. I was ecstatic when Mom hung it on the wall. If Mom had hung EVERYTHING on the wall, though, I would have thought everything I’d made was amazing! Mom never lied to me about what she liked and what she thought was just so-so. People would work harder and strive for success without constant praise for everything they did.

All this is important because you could really hurt someone’s feelings, career, friendship, or their trust in you if lie to them. It can be really, really difficult to do the right thing and tell someone what you really think. But too many people hide their true feelings in their lies. Hiding your true feelings is hiding who you are and what you’ve become. People don’t want to be friends with someone who they don’t think is trustworthy and doesn’t show their feelings. I think people should take a stand and stop all the lying before it starts. I hope by reading this essay you’ve learned something about lying to someone. Would you lie to your best friend on purpose? In fact, would you like lying to ANYONE you know? So the next time you want to tell your friend her actually hideous shirt looks great, here’s my advice: Think before you speak. Would you like to be treated this way? Because when you step up and tell the truth, you are saving someone from being scarred.