Essay By: Sophie

Confidence Is the Key to Knowing Yourself

By: Sophie

Sometimes I question myself, when I walk down the school hall. I could get bullied because of being myself. I feel afraid that if I do anything unique, I’ll be humiliated. I feel like there is a big restriction on my life that I’m not controlling. This makes me think that if there was one thing that could help everyone, it would be confidence. Instead of being restricted to doing only what other people want for you, you could have an open mind and let yourself lead the way of YOUR life. I sometimes try to rush through the halls, covering my outfit in case someone tries to make fun of me. Imagine spending your life covering up yourself, leaving your soul behind. If you use your confidence, you could walk through school, arms wide open, being proud and showing off that outfit!!

When you don’t use confidence you usually feel like you can never win anything. For example, my cousin Avery had an experience with a girl named Rachel. Rachel made Avery feel lonely and unwanted. Avery was in a group of 3 friends and Rachel would always hug the other friend and always connect with her but not Avery. Also Rachel would always brag about herself, and tell Avery where she went over the weekend, and who she was with. My cousin felt too afraid to stand up for herself so she avoided her. Avery thought that if she brought up her feelings about the situation, she would make the situation bigger. Rachel crushed my cousin’s heart, and she didn’t know when to trust her or even if she should trust her.

Another example is that my friend, Jessica, was getting bullied by a girl at her camp while they were playing a game on the same team. April (the bully) kept saying “You’re making us lose, it’s all your fault!” April kept harassing Jessica, while she just kept taking it in. If I was Jessica, I would have cried in the corner, but she kept her head high. I can imagine what Jessica felt inside. She probably was extremely sad. If Jessica just used her confidence, she could’ve told April to stop and she wouldn’t have the sadness in her. Jessica also regrets that she didn’t use her confidence.

Lastly, I was actually bullied by a girl in my class. She would make sure that if I had a play date with someone else besides her, she would have to know, or she would have to come. It made me feel extremely sad because she was controlling me. On top of that another girl teamed up with her and bullied me. I started talking to my mom and my teacher and it stopped for a short time. Then, it would start again.

Not having confidence could change your whole out-look on life, and make you scared to go to school, or make you look like a complete mirror image of some of the girls at your school! If you have confidence, you could feel like a big giant, feeling strong and happy, being able to fight against the bully. Or you could be like a little mouse in the corner, unable to speak against the bully/bullies. Bullying leaves you feeling inadequate.

The first example is when my dad got bullied by a boy named Tommy Frew. Tommy would always tell my dad to give him his lunch money or he would kill him. My dad would always run away from him, worried he would try to kill him. One day my dad was on the bus, and Tommy came up, and said “Give me your lunch money.” My dad said “NO!” Tommy mumbled that he was going to kill my dad, but he never said anything again. When my dad denied Tommy, it really showed my dad that he could do anything.

Also, my friend Rebecca had an experience in her locker room at hockey practice. One of Rebecca’s friends went to a Bruins game instead of the team’s party and a couple of girls got mad at her for it. So, they locked her in the locker room and put her hockey bag in the hallway. Rebecca and one of her friends on the team unlocked the locker room and put her bag back in the locker room where she was. Rebecca told the girls “Don’t do that to a teammate, we are a family,” she also told the coach what had happened in the locker room and he talked to the team. Rebecca helped the girl out by talking to the bullies and talked to the coach, which I know made her feel really great. It made the girl feel good and Rebecca feel good. It was a win-win situation!

Not having confidence can also rub off on becoming jealous. If you don’t have confidence in yourself against the popular girls, you start wanting to look like them, wearing stylish clothes from popular stores because you want to become their friends instead of being yourself. I read a story about a girl who was under the shadow of her friend who is pretty, funny, and scores perfect grades on her tests. It put a ton of pressure on her to come up to her friend’s standards. I think that if I was in her shoes I would be overwhelmed, and nervous that my friend might leave me behind to be friends with other perfect girls. Many things can become affected if you don’t have confidence, your friendship, and your heart.

Confidence also opens your doors to happiness. For example when my friend Carissa went to swim class, kids were swimming under her and they were making her feel like she was swimming slowly. Carissa told the coach and finally it stopped!! This proves that although standing up for yourself and asking the bully to stop is good, it might not always be the right path. Sometimes you have to talk to an adult.

Also, I heard a quote by Vince Lombardi, that is “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” I think this means that confidence can even go over the top and be passed around. Also I think it means that lack of confidence can be passed around too from well-known people in your life, like your parents. Confidence can be passed down from anyone and you should make sure that everyone has confidence because it’s the last piece of the puzzle to your life.

Lastly, I heard a quote by Mark Twain which was “All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.” I think that means that if you have confidence you can do anything you set your mind to. If you have confidence your dreams will come true!!